Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
