We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
