honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
