Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
