We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
