I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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