Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i out mim tonsoeep
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