so that wasnt chicken after all
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
