Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
