you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
