I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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