she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
