Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize