She announced her abortion via fbk
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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