He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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