Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
