It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
