so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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