after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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