Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The power of my boobs compel you
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
