community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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