one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
