and you said cock pushups were impossible
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
