I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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