He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize