Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I could make wine with my vomit
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
