i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
