whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
