): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
