I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
