walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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