I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
