my phone needs a breathalizer
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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