Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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