I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
