Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
