We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We don't watch enough power rangers
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
