YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
