lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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