Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
