I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
