My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize