Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Everyone says I win the strip club
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
