I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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