How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
