My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
