how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
