Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Are we still banned from the library?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
