just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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