***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
