you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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