how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
