Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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