After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
