Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
As shirtless as possible
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I need water and some morals
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize